Oh boy. My lockdown was not just 2020 but also most of 2021. Maybe it was for others too, but I'm seeing musician friends out there doing stuff.
In February of 2020, I made a big announcement that I would only be performing at Howl at the Moon due to the difficulty of setting up gear while pregnant. Well, about two weeks later, the world was locked down. Like others, my Facebook feed was flooded with live stream performances from practically every musician I knew every night for the next 2-3 months.
The music stopped
I tried to be a part of the live streams! I think I made two live streams and a few recorded video requests. But it turns out that when your spouse talks on the phone for a living, simultaneously singing and playing instruments makes their job impossible. Plus, we had a then two-year-old, and I was getting more pregnant-puff by the day. So I stopped attempting anything music-related, kicked my swollen ankles up, smiled at the baby kicks, and prayed the crash I heard across the room wasn't a severe injury to my toddler.
And this sounds like I'm setting up a sob story, but it was not at all! One part of me feels guilty for saying this, but... I thrived! I was a lucky one. Lockdown gave me time for a lot of introspection. Before that, I was too busy running to appointments to ask myself deep questions.
Once baby #2 came, I delved into my other creative business, Werkerbee Media. While I had been editing videos, I pivoted my primary focus to photo editing for photographers. It is a very and highly behind-the-scenes job, but I thoroughly enjoyed it! Sometimes I even did my photography (some of my favorite shots are pictured below). What I learned from having two creative businesses is another blog post in itself.
I underestimated mom-life. Severely.
I was warned, but I was not ready for life with two kids. Nope. She started crawling, and I just… I wasn't prepared. I'll leave that there.
In the summer of 2021, I was out performing again. Then I hit that dreaded crossroads: Two kids. Two businesses. Too little time. I was missing deadlines, performing into the wee hours of the morning. Then my babies weren't sleeping through the night. *sigh* Something had to go. It has been an incredibly heartbreaking thing to do, but I decided to put Werkerbee on hiatus.
Some of you are reading this were clients of mine, and I cannot thank you enough for trusting me with your art. Thank you for what you all have taught me. I had the privilege of working with the best of the best!
So now I'm back to music, and I reopened all my accounts to see traces of a woman I felt I barely recognized. I took the lessons I've learned from my introspection and changed how I've made music. That sounds terribly elusive, and from the outside, it may look exactly the same, for all I know. But I DO know what's changed within me and how I continue to change. And let me say that I can barely wait to start connecting and sharing with others using this amazing art form that I love so so much!
Here's to a great 2022!!!
From top to bottom: Me and Corinne; Corinne and my parents; Daphne and Jackson Driver